I have not posted in four months. I find it interesting that I slipped away one day, totally distracted and losing focus on something that is so important to me, self-expressing through writing. This morning I am pondering what caused me to go off track? Or perhaps a better question, what track am I really on?
The fourth quarter was an extremely busy quarter at Xponents. Perhaps as busy a quarter as we have ever had. I am grateful we had so much work in spite of the sluggish economy. It went a long way toward making up for a tough 2nd & 3rd quarter. Much of the work at the end of the year involved travel, and I have made it a practice to only travel on alternating weeks. This is because I have learned that when I don't manage the frequency of my trips the rest of my life can begin to unravel a bit. None the less, during the 4th quarter of last year I made an exception to my own rule and I traveled every week except the weeks of Thanksgiving and Christmas. Let's face it, a girls gotta eat! I rationalized these unique circumstances required a different course of action. It was not business as usual.
What I have learned about myself over the years, is that I value giving exceptional service to my customers. When I say yes to a client, they get all of me, head, heart, and soul. I love my work! And, I love my family. I deeply value connection and time spent with family. My primary values collided with each other last quarter, and while there are many others I hold dear, it was all I could do to focus on the most compelling priorities at hand. Those two things took precedence over all else. When I was at home, I prefered to go to soccer games, or prepare family dinners. I realize in this moment that this is not meant as an excuse, but rather a recognition that things happen that you can't always anticipate. One has to make adjustments in the moment. The holidays were no exception. My husband was laid off mid-December and we reacted in the moment, and chose to simplify. A theme seems to be emerging.
Then I woke up on January 1st, and found I was still grappling with setting business goals for 2009. If you know me, you will recognize this was (and continues to be) a significant delima. I'm goal oriented: work is important to me. I love what I do, and I'm good at it. For the past six years, I have been clear about what that looks like. But I realize today, it is not business as usual. Right now in this very moment, our world is shifting in ways we can only begin to imagine. Setting goals based on an old paradigm seems pointless to me. There is something new trying to happen. So a month in to the New Year I am still pondering the question, What do I have to offer that will best serve this new world that is trying to be born?
So, the only goal I will set for 2009 is to be present and open to hearing what is most needed now and what talents I have to offer toward that end. This blog will continue to reflect my perspective on what truth is unfolding in the moment.