Book Review: The Anatomy of Peace

Feb 14, 2013 2:19:46 PM

I recently revisited the book, The Anatomy of Peace by the Arbinger Institute.  If you are unfamiliar with that work, the authors also penned Leadership and Self-Deception which, in my opinion, is a must-read for all managers.  The fundamental principal of both books is that it isn’t always the behaviors on the outside that impact our business and personal relationships; it is what is happening on the inside that can make all the difference.  Is our heart at war or at peace with others?

I have been reminding myself of the importance of listening.  I am a trained professional and I can demonstrate active listening in any given moment.  The question that Anatomy of Peace asks of me is, how am I “being” when I am “doing” active listening?  Do I really hear you?  Do I hold your needs with the same regard as I hold my own?  Or am I gathering information in support of my own agenda?  Am I responsive to others or am I resisting them?

I find the book empowering and liberating.  If we have the power to choose our response, regardless of another’s treatment of us, we can send a hard message but do it from a place of respect and compassion.   We do this by seeing others as people (out of the box) rather than objects (in the box).

I have learned over the years that true effectiveness has more to do with how we are on the inside than what we show on the outside.

If you like this blog, I think you will like my book The Cycle of Transformation. Available now!
Deb Siverson is a seasoned executive coach, certified as a PCC through the International Coach Federation. If you want to schedule time to discuss how you or your organization can increase engagement by having a different conversation at work, contact us now.