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Waking Up on the Same Side of the Bed

Oct 27, 2010 10:29:14 PM

My husband and I had an interesting conversation the other night.  We were getting ready for bed, and I mentioned how curious it is that we are stuck in a pattern related to our bed.  I don’t mean anything risqué by this comment.  I mean that over the course of the last twenty-five years, I crawl into bed on the left side and he crawls in to bed on the right.  We don’t talk about it.  We don’t think about it.  That’s just how we roll. Now there is nothing wrong with that, but it is interesting that at some point we claimed our space and now we repeat a ritual night after night without giving it another thought.  Until we did.

As he and I have gotten older, we both have problems sleeping soundly through the night.  I got to wondering, what if shaking things up by switching up the way we always do things makes a difference.  I mean, who knows what might happen?  We agreed it might be fun to try it out and see what happens, and then we went to sleep, me on the left and him on the right.  That conversation took place several days ago and we have yet to change our pattern.

This whole idea of being stuck in a pattern is intriguing to me.  Especially the patterns that might be a bit destructive.  Example: we have a teenager at home.  There are times when he wants to assert his power and independence, which is exactly what he should be doing, but does it in a way that feels disrespectful.  I started to notice in myself a tendency to sometimes ignore the behavior.  Partly, because it is just not worth taking the time to remind him to watch his tone.  I even consciously decide to make light of it and not let his moody attitude impact my positive mood.  But last week I noticed that we had formed a pattern, where he thought it was okay to talk to me in a way that I could no longer tolerate. I realized I had to respond differently.  I did, and so did he.

Now I am watching for patterns everywhere.  Where else do I perpetuate what I don’t want, and yet haven’t been able to identify the cycle so I can shake things up?  I’m excited about the proposition of pushing where I was pulling, or just doing nothing at all.  I reminded my husband last night that I really want to wake up soon on the wrong side of the bed.  I hope everyone around me is going to have as much fun poking at this as I am!

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Deb Siverson

Deb Siverson is the owner and founder of Xponents. She completed her Masters in Organizational Leadership from University of Colorado-Boulder. Deb is the author of the book, "The Cycle of Transformation: igniting organizational change through the leader coach."

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