Coaching Corner: Hidden Beliefs
I recently attended a class where the question was posed, “what one thing do you want more than anything else?” We all spent a few moments carefully considering our answer and writing down our responses. The next question, “what gets in the way of getting what you want?” Again, we each developed a list of possible reasons why one might not get the thing they desired most. Next, our leader informed us, “I’ve got some bad news. What you just wrote down is not what you want most. If it was, you would already have it.” Awareness flooded through me as I realized how much truth was in that statement. The very thing I said I wanted most seemed just beyond my grasp. I had been making choices that led me away from, rather than toward, my heart’s desire. I was making choices based on what I believed was true about who I was and who I was not.
Hidden beliefs about who we are, in relationship to that which we want, get in the way of having our heart’s desire. Not long ago, I met with a friend and colleague who had lost quite a bit of weight, but then gained much of it back. While she was able to muster up the enthusiasm and determination to obtain her goal, maintaining it was elusive. We pondered what had caused her to create a reality that was other than what she wanted. I suggested that she may not yet believe in this new, thin, version of herself; she may be holding onto a hidden belief that she is, after all, overweight. Often, a piece of the work that needs to be done to sustain new ways of being is on the inside. Of course, when it comes to losing weight, we have to do the outside work of eating differently and exercising, but we must also take time to uncover our hidden beliefs and begin to reshape them. Reshaping self-limiting beliefs about who we are gives us freedom from the unconscious choices that impact our lives. As we gain awareness of these unconscious choices, we can become more intentional about overcoming the obstacles that are getting in our way.
Self-Directed Coaching Assignment
Find 30 minutes and a quiet place to reflect on the following questions. Have blank paper available and an envelope. Write on the outside of the envelope, What I want more than anything. Read the first question aloud. Spend a few moments exploring the question and how you feel about it. Spend 3-5 minutes writing your response.
Continue with the remaining questions.
- If I could wish for the one thing I want more than anything else, what would it be?
- What is getting in the way of me not having what I want most (make a list of all the possible things that are obstacles)?
- What is the hidden belief that is stopping me from having my heart’s desire?
- Imagine and describe what it would look like if the opposite were true. Example: If your hidden belief involves not being capable, write as if you were oozing with capability. If the belief is you don’t have enough time, write about what it would be like if time were not a factor.
- What one thing will be different going forward, related to what you want most?
Place your responses in an envelope and revisit your responses in 30 days.
If you are interested in exploring how your hidden beliefs are impacting your reality, call us at 303-238-1973 to learn how coaching can be the door to a whole new future.