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Looking for the Good Stuff

Looking for the Good Stuff

Aug 15, 2008 10:07:08 PM

I notice that I spend too much time looking for trouble.  I pay extra special attention to what I’m not doing as well as I could.  For example, I could eat better, exercise more, or clean out my in-box.  I could keep the house cleaner and more organized, the laundry caught up, and the check book balanced.  I expect a lot from me, and so it’s easy to let me down.

And what really scares me is that I don’t just look for the problems with me, I also look for what others could do better.  BJ could keep his room neater, or improve the quality of his penmenship, and so on.  Or my husband could stop being so bloody negative…oh wait a minute, I wonder where he gets that from?  Wouldn’t it be great if I didn’t see so much of what isn’t, but rather what is?  What if I only looked for the good stuff instead of what was “wrong.”

I wouldn’t miss the look of earnestness on the face of my soon to be teenager when he does his own laundry or remembers to wear his rubber bands without a reminder.  I  might thank my husband with a full minute of recognition and accolades for picking up paint for the dining room on his own accord.  Crazier still, I just might give myself a little break now and then for the way my almost fifty year old body can’t quite fight off gravity the way it use to.  Looking in the mirror, I’d see all the good stuff, admiring how my time on earth has given me an extra character line here and there, or how gray hair has a glorious way of reflecting light, rather than looking quickly away to avoid seeing that extra 10 pounds. 

Am I the only one that has to be reminded to look for all that is good and hold that expectation, before looking for problems?  And, there is still the issue of the dirty socks in the center of the bathroom floor!  So today I closed (so I wouldn’t have to see the mess) and put a note on the door, reminding BJ that his dirty clothes belong in the hamper rather than on the floor of the bathroom.  Tonight, I will look for all that is good with him and clarify my expectations and the consequences when he misses them.  I will hold the intention of saying what I want first, rather than dealing with what I don’t want on the back end.  I will look to what is good, and make that my reality.

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Deb Siverson

Deb Siverson is the owner and founder of Xponents. She completed her Masters in Organizational Leadership from University of Colorado-Boulder. Deb is the author of the book, "The Cycle of Transformation: igniting organizational change through the leader coach."

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